America's Next Top Recap: Counting Sheep

A change of scenery really CAN work wonders.

I don’t think it was a coincidence that we got what was probably the best episode - or maybe it was simply the least infuriating - of the year after the models packed their bags and headed to New Zealand (which, coincidentally, is NOT just above Canada, Ms. Jessica.)

In case we’d forgotten, Angelea was more than happy to constantly remind us that she and Krista would be flying first class (which was tough talk given that Krista was the one who’d actually earned the reward.) Sure, first class looked hella comfortable, but Angelea crowing about not having jet lag because she flew first class is only slightly less embarrassing than Jessica’s geographical skills. (Ok, you’re right – Jessica’s gaffe is still much worse.)

Once they landed, the models were “treated” to a Maori dance that proved to be utterly pointless before Ms. J announced that they’d be going on their go-sees.

Turns out every model had the same genius strategy to work their way backwards, which actually resulted in several hilarious moments, including Raina dashing past Alexandra’s first appointment. (Alexandra IS a plus-size model, so I suppose she was at a speed disadvantage.)

Unfortunately for Raina and Alexandra, they appeared to bomb most of their go-sees (Raina, in particular, looked shockingly not-good in those bikinis). Unfortunately for me, Angelea kicked ass. I suppose there aren’t that many drag queen-lite she beasts in New Zealand because all the designers seemed to be in awe of her and she booked 6 out of 6 jobs. Seriously though, that was the best performance during the go-see challenge that I’ve ever seen, and I even would’ve laughed at her cocky “booked” following every visit if I didn’t hate her so damn much.

Now with the go-see challenge, you expect some of the girls to be back late and get disqualified, but I didn’t expect half of the six girls to be tardy. Raina and Krista (who was the only one who could really challenge Angelea) were a bit late. Alasia – who we know has punctuality issues – was monumentally late, showing up 45 minutes after the deadline. Angelea won and got to keep some of the designs from her go-sees (much to the eventual dismay of Andre Leon Talley during panel).

Before the photo shoot, the women awoke to an amazing rainbow outside their fabulous new living quarters. It was so unbelievably beautiful that I would’ve assumed it was a special effect – if the CW could afford special effects.

I LOVED the idea of the weekly challenge, which had all the girls modeling the same billowy black dress. That idea is the cousin of my girlfriend Erica’s suggestion to have all the contestants on “American Idol” sing the same song one week. On this show, it somewhat leveled the playing field and it demonstrated what some of these girls were made of.

Oh, and did I mention that the models would be posing with a sheep named Prince and that they’d be photographed by Nigel Barker (who did an excellent job with the composition of the shots)? Ok, well I just did.

The best photo of the bunch unquestionably belonged to Krista (pictured, left) for the second week in a row. At first glance, it looked like she was suspended in the air. At the very least she looks like the epicenter of a sexy tornado. (Maybe she could be a mate for the Smoke Monster on “Lost.”) Bonus points for overcoming her initial fear of Prince. Raina had another strong showing with her storybook-esque photo, and Alexandra bounced back nicely by fully engaging with Prince.

Angelea struggled on set AND in the judges’ panel. On set, she seemed to have a mental block that wouldn’t allow her to stop messing with her own dress, which resulted in an underwhelming shoot. In panel, her negative critique from Tyra seemed to send Angelea over the edge, resulting in a bizarre impersonation of someone in a club pretending to say hi to a bunch of people. Don’t worry - it was even more confusing than it sounds. Now, I’m not a doctor (I only play one when I watch TV), but methinks that Angelea – who goes from cocky to angry to completely defected in a flash – may be a bit bipolar.

Still, Angelea had built up enough good will to avoid the bottom 2. That was reserved for Jessica (who fell on her ass on set, and forgot her face in the photo) and Alasia (who looked completely blah and disinterested in the photo). Couple that with her dismal performance in the go-sees and it was Alasia’s time to go. I can’t disagree with the decision, and it’s only a shame in that Alasia had gotten to be noticeably less annoying the past two weeks. (She’d finally stopped screaming.) Oh well.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is Krista peaking a bit too early? Is Alexandra coming on too late? Finally, what the hell WAS Angelea doing with that “girl at the club” nonsense at panel?