…more like, “America’s Next Top Screaming Match.”I’m no Ren — I’m not naïve about the fact that fights with housemates and trumped up drama are reality TV hallmarks as old as “I’m not here to make friends.” However, this cycle of “Top Model” has taken it to a new (low) level.
It’s almost as if Tyra and her producers WANT us to actively dislike every single person this year. Except for Raina and Alexandra, I find that the remaining girls range from outwardly horrible (hi Angelea, Alasia and Anslee) to extremely annoying (Brenda and a fast-gaining Jessica) to mildly irritating (hello sneakily condescending Krista).
Krista was actually the one who laid out the battles lines for us. On one side, we had Krista, Angelea, Alasia and Anslee, aka the “realest” of the real. On the other, more passive aggressive side, we have Brenda, Raina and Jessica. Alexandra was, apparently, not allowed in either clique because she’s not black or angry enough to be with the “realest” girls, and she’s not skinny enough to hang with Brenda, Raina and Jessica.
A week or two ago, I made the catastrophic mistake of saying that Angelea was actually starting to not be that offensive to me. That got blown to pieces last night as she slinked in and out of bedrooms to start fights while, at the same time, complaining about all the drama. I hate her.
The show DID manage to sneak in some actual modeling-related activities last night.
The girls went to Seventeen Magazine to get a lesson about dressing for their body types. Nothing too much to report here other than Alasia is allegedly curvy and Brenda can’t find her waist.
The week’s challenge involved the models dressing up and attempting to charm Tinsley Mortimer at a party. (Don’t worry, I didn’t know who the hell she was either until I looked it up.) (Ok, fine, I’ll tell you on the off chance you care — she’s the star of the CW’s C-grade “Hills” knockoff, “High Society”.) Once again, nothing much happened other than Anslee being busted for not knowing who’s designing for Coco Chanel these days, Alasia playing with her hair too much, and Jessica being the least offensive party guest and winning the challenge.
Apparently, the show had so much footage of house “drama” that they simply decided not to do anything interesting this week.
The most amusing sequence involved Alasia listening in on Raina’s confessional, and then slamming her for being fake and talking behind her back. Alasia, it turns out, is unfamiliar with the concept of a reality show confessional because she doesn’t realize that talking about other people when they’re not there is PRECISELY WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO. (In a related story, that confessional needs to be A LOT more isolated/soundproof!)
The episode’s least amusing sequence? On the way back to the house, the girls were bickering again and Brenda let the word “uneducated” slip out in relation to Angelea. It was like seeing a car accident happening in slow motion. You just KNEW this was going to be terrible.
Most distressingly of all, Angelea slammed Brenda for assuming that she was uneducated, simply because she carried herself in an off-putting, crass and ignorant way. (Oh wait.) Look, Angelea very well may be a thoughtful, intelligent person, but seeing her make the choice to be a self-proclaimed “bitch” and stir up drama completely undermines her sentiment of wanting respect.
Alasia is just a dumb young girl. Angelea seems like she should know better.
The week’s Cover Girl photo shoot had the girls posing on a moving subway train and adopting different personas. My favorite moment from all this (besides seeing last year’s awesome winner Nicole again) was Angelea claiming she could nail this because she’s “from New York” before specifying that she hails from Buffalo. (Sure…that’s the same thing)
You can probably tell from this recap that I don’t much like Angelea (pictured, left), so that’s why it pains me to say that she really did have the best photo of the week and deserved the win. (When she did well in her fashionista shoot with Mr. Jay, I audibly groaned at the prospect of seeing her another week.) Right on her heels was Krista who had a lovely shot as an aspiring actress.
The worst photos of the bunch came from Alasia as a model on her way to a go-see and…well, Alasia had the only truly horrible photo. She decided to not think about anything when she was modeling and it showed. Jessica’s “Gossip Girl” reject photo was pretty lame, and so was Brenda’s inexplicable student photo.
Since Brenda had a worse track record than Jessica, she ended up in the bottom two, and since she had a worse track record than Alasia (and since ALT has a weird fetish for Alasia) Brenda ended up going home. Hopefully by now her hair is completely grown out so she can stop whining about it.
So what’d you think of this episode? Did you buy the judges’ backlash against Jessica? (Where was that LAST week when she molested Nigel?) Does Tyra (or anyone) actually watch the footage in the house? (There should be consequences for being a beast, no?) Finally, does anyone out there actually like Angelea?
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